Rolandes Ramblings

So, I just happened to skim through this article about how marketing companies are looking to partner with TV networks to alter the way advertisements are presented so that people can’t use the TiVo to fast forward past the ads. The ads will essentially become part of the TV program to fool the viewers into watching. Of course they make the reference to the Caveman ads from GEICO and how they are being made into a TV show.

The article was all serious and spelling doom for TV the way we know it, until I got to a quote from the Executive Vice President of NBC Universal’s Ad Sales. I did a double-take and just started cracking up. You just can’t make up good stuff like this…

Imagine walking into your bank to use the ATM and there is a horse in line in front of you. I guess he had a deposit of a different kind to make…

Google TiSP (BETA) is a fully functional, end-to-end system that provides in-home wireless access by connecting your commode-based TiSP wireless router to one of thousands of TiSP Access Nodes via fiber-optic cable strung through your local municipal sewage lines.

Installing a typical home TiSP system is a quick, easy and largely sanitary process — provided you follow the step-by-step instructions very, very carefully.

Professional Installation Service
You can also choose to request our professional installation service, which dispatches an army of factory-trained, sub-contracted nanobots from the TiSP Access Node. The nanobots travel with exhilarating nano-speed through the sewer system and into your home to perform the installation service, which should be complete within 15 minutes. Note: For your own physical safety and emotional well-being and in consideration of the nanobots’ working conditions, please make absolutely certain that your toilet is unoccupied at the scheduled appointment time.

In-Commode Package Delivery
With professional installation service, you can also have your Google Checkout purchases delivered directly through the sewage network into your bathroom. Each package comes pre-sealed in a watertight and nanobot-resistant bag made of biodegradable corn-based plastic. For a limited time, TiSP subscribers who sign up for a Checkout account will receive free bathroom delivery on their first ten Checkout purchases.

TiSP for Enterprise
We’re actively developing a higher-performance version of TiSP specifically tailored to small and medium-sized businesses, including 24-hour, on-site technical support in the event of backup problems, brownouts and data wipes.

http://www.google.com/tisp/install.html

Everyone loves Gmail. But not everyone loves email, or the digital era. What ever happened to stamps, filing cabinets, and the mailman? Gmail Paper is bringing it all back.

A New Button
Now in Gmail, you can request a physical copy of any message with the click of a button, and we’ll send it to you in the mail.

Simplicity Squared
Google will print all messages instantly and prepare them for delivery. Allow 2-4 business days for a parcel to arrive via post.

Total Control
A stack of Gmail Paper arrives in a box at your doorstep, and it’s yours to keep forever. You can read it, sort it, search it, touch it. Or even move it to the trash—the real trash. (Recycling is encouraged.)

Keep it Secret, Keep it Safe
Google takes privacy very seriously. But once your email is physically in your hands, it’s as secure as you want to make it.

http://mail.google.com/mail/help/paper/more.html

So, after Ohio State got trounced by Florida back in January for the National Football Title, they are incredibly playing for the NCAA Basketball Championship against each other. What are the odds in the same season that this could occur? After all, Ohio State hasn’t gone this far since the 1960’s. Florida romped on Ohio State back at the beginning of the season by 26 points. So, if that is any indicator of how the game is going to go, we could repeat another national title embarrassment by the same school, no less. The sports analysts locally are all joking that they hope that Ohio State doesn’t score first. That could be a bad omen. Florida just tore UCLA apart the other night with offensive rebounds almost every time down the court. If Greg Oden can’t stay out of foul trouble, the Buckeyes are going to get hammered down low on the boards. They got away with it against Georgetown, but that won’t fly against Florida.