Rolandes Ramblings

My wife must think so… She forwarded me this whiny, sarcastic observation. You gotta love women and wasting no time at all with their passive aggressive manipulative comments right up front.

Men are just happier people.

What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President.

You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can “do” your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

ALL I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT LIFE
I LEARNED FROM THE EASTER BUNNY

Don’t put all of your eggs in one basket

Walk softly and carry a big carrot

Everyone needs a friend who is all ears

There’s no such thing as too much candy

All work and no play can make you a basket case

A cute little tail attracts a lot of attention

Everyone is entitled to a bad hare day

Let happy thoughts multiply like rabbits

Some body parts should be floppy

Keep your paws off other people’s jellybeans

Good things come in small sugarcoated packages

The grass is always greener in someone else’s basket

An Easter bonnet can tame even the wildest hare

To show your true colors you have to come out of your shell

The best things in life are still sweet and gooey

For the past few months, we have taken our kids to the Pet Store so they could play with dogs. We hadn’t really had any intention of actually getting a dog. It was just something fun for the kids to do. Well, that changed last weekend when we saw this little brown and tan Lhasa-Peke mixed 11 week old puppy. He had such a nice personality and really handled our loud children rather well. He just seemed like the perfect dog for our family.

Murphy

We spent 2 hours there while my wife tried to make up her mind. I was sold and the kids were excited. She finally gave in and decided to do it. So we went home with this little puppy along with a crate and a bunch of other things.

I have to say that he has been a good puppy to take care of. There are the usual puppy issues to deal with but, for the most part, he does well going to the bathroom outside and he has been sleeping really well in his crate. He doesn’t really bark much at all. He growls at shadows and whines occassionally to get out of his crate. But other than that he has been very quiet.

Our kids are loving it. They think it is the neatest thing to have their own dog. Olivia has been picking him up and carrying him around everywhere and insisting that she take him outside and walk him. She has even been giving him rides on the back of her tricycle and in various baby strollers. It has been rather hysterical to watch. She explained to one of the neighbors the other day that “he has a penis because he is a boy”.